When two people break up there is usually a lot of feelings of blame built up inside. This is what is holding you back from fixing your relationship.

Now when you are trying to re vamp you relationship or get you're ex lover back what you need first do is to change their mindset, and by this I mean their mindset when it comes to you in general.

If you are married to an overbearing husband who begins to isolate you from your friends and family, you can feel even more trapped, and at the mercy of his jealousy and insecurity.

For the recipient of this type of overbearing behavior, it can create a sense of feeling trapped in your circumstances, or feeling intimidated, or feeling like you are suffocating.

While this is not a complete list of all the steps to take, it is a beginning. There are so many more steps and things you can do that can help you get back together with your ex.

Granted, this is a generalization and does not apply in every case, but most of the time it's true. Most men prefer less talk and most women prefer more talk. And, most women at times like to talk just to vent, not necessarily to resolve a problem.

So, the way this plays out in a marriage is that the man will listen to what the woman says, then quickly state a solution to her problem. He thinks he's done his job and is done with the conversation. To his surprise, his wife yells at him for "not listening" and "not trying to understand" her…

So, next time you are tempted to react naturally during a conversation about a particular problem, stop yourself and take some time to understand where your partner is coming from. This will go a long way in understanding the marriage relationship.

In our society we have become obsessed with love. Our films, our books, our plays and our music are full of stories about love - the joy of finding it and the heartache of losing it. We treat it as a commodity, a transient emotion that comes and goes.

We are deliriously happy when we find it but suffer terribly when we lose it again. A vast majority of romantic relationships start well, with two people falling in love, but then something begins to go wrong. The feelings of love begin to fade and we start seeing our partner's failings.

They begin to irritate us and act in ways that seem unloving. We then either move into compromise and settle for a relationship with less love and connection or we end the relationship and try to find someone better.

Forming a successful romantic relationship is a real challenge, but it ends up this way because of a basic misunderstanding about love. Breathe love back into the situation.

This will encourage equality, and it will help them see your side as well as you seeing their side of the issue. Middle ground can then be determined on the subject. If there is no middle ground,

the item bay be one that you both agree to disagree on and should probably be avoided in the future to eliminate future contention. Always come up with communication goals. Time can be a goal for communication.

There are couples that plan on a minimum of 15 minutes alone together to communicate about their day, and everything else they may want to talk about.

Communicating without raising your voices is another great goal. Communicating you love the other person at least once daily is another great goal if your relationship is in contention.

So, something is wrong with you. Of course, there are also many things wrong with the others, but you cannot correct their behavior. You can only correct yours, and this is what you are going to do.

Try to understand what bothers them so much and look for your faults, no matter how correct you believe you are. Be understanding and peaceful, and you will always have calm relationships, without fights and misunderstandings.

If you are facing problems now, besides understanding that the other person has their own personality, try to find smart solutions.

Put yourself in the place of the other person and try to understand what you would do in their place, but not according to what you think: according to their personality.

There are always a billion solutions for each problem. Look calmly for them and you'll find the best one for sure. Tell yourself that you are very intelligent and you will discover the best solutions, facing all the problems of life with courage.

Don't stop at the first obstacle. Look for another way to do what you want. Be creative, original and insistent. Never give up! How important are the relationships in your life?

Another major difference in understanding the marriage relationship is that women sometimes discuss things they don't really want advice about or help with. They are just wanting to get something off their chest.

By the same token, she may think he is uncaring and insensitive about something, simply because he's not talking about it. The reality is he's thinking about it constantly, he's just not ready to discuss it until he's figured out the solution.

When it comes to the relationship between a husband and a wife, this difference can become a major stumbling block. He might get tired of her talking on and on about a problem she has, not realizing that this is her way of arriving at a solution.

This is probably the number one killer of all relationships. Communication in a relationships starts out great, then plummets. If you want a long lasting relationship, you must communicate.

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